Are you spending this Valentine's Day alone and hating it? Well, forget the bar scene, and screw that Q105 party. Come on down to the Navy Exchange package store and treat yourself. For just $24.99, you can walk out with one and three-quarter liters of Absolut Vodka...it's Sweden's finest! You get the alcohol content of over forty bottles of Boston Lager - and in a single, easy-to-handle container. In this tough economy, it's important to save any way you can - and that includes saving on your alcoholism. Stop by the commissary and pick up some orange juice, and you'll be set to punch yourself a one-way ticket to Liquorland on Saturday.
So come on down to the package store, and get ready to forget that you're snuggling with your pillow this weekend. We're open seven days a week...that's right, even Sunday. Nobody else in Connecticut can say that - 'cause it's against the law! Absolut, the package store, and you...an unstoppable combination!
Boston Lager comparison based on its 4.9% abv value. Absolut = 80 proof = 40%. This is intended for humor only; the author encourages you to drink in moderation, even if he doesn't always do so.