Matt Carberry (kingpin248) wrote,
Matt Carberry

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This is how it ended...

J. Raymond (23:35:58): I urge you to reconsider...
J. Raymond (23:36:02): its not too late...
J. Raymond (23:36:13): We're in a deep recession...
J. Raymond (23:36:15): no one's hiring...
J. Raymond (23:36:18): the navy needs you...
J. Raymond (23:36:21): its shore duty...
J. Raymond (23:36:24): just a few more years...
J. Raymond (23:36:31): you'll make chief quickly...
J. Raymond (23:36:47): when you go back to a boat, its different...
J. Raymond (23:36:57): no duty on shore duty...
Carbs (23:37:11): that's only if i have a bad shoulder
Carbs (23:38:01): don't make me send this guy after you
Carbs (23:38:02): 1
Carbs (23:40:02): Twenty minutes.
J. Raymond (23:40:14): call up bupers.
J. Raymond (23:40:18): tell them you have reconsidered
J. Raymond (23:40:26): they will forgive.
J. Raymond (23:40:29): ...they will forget.
J. Raymond (23:40:35): a good shore duty you will have.
J. Raymond (23:40:48): the navy will keep you close to its ample bosom, allowing you to continue to nurse.
J. Raymond (23:40:53): it is the right decision
Carbs (23:41:00): FOR ME TO POOP ON!
J. Raymond (23:41:16): the real world is scary
J. Raymond (23:41:18): you don't want it
Carbs (23:45:04): Fifteen minutes. Happiness factor > 200,000.
J. Raymond (23:45:35): Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins.
Carbs (23:45:47): who?
J. Raymond (23:46:19): you know not of raptor jesus?
Carbs (23:46:25): i do not
J. Raymond (23:46:57): 2
Carbs (23:50:07): Ten minutes. I smell it, and it smells damn good.
J. Raymond (23:50:22): that smell is acrid odor
J. Raymond (23:50:25): fire in ram
Carbs (23:50:31): your man-ram
J. Raymond (23:50:42): the scent of fresh steam warming up the headers
Carbs (23:51:00): it won't be me opening up those stops
Carbs (23:52:00): Eight.
Carbs (23:55:02): Five. No looking back.
J. Raymond (23:55:54): 3
Carbs (23:56:36): your lulz sense is strong, my friend, sending me such an image when i am in a public place
Carbs (23:57:00): Three.
J. Raymond (23:57:15): since you refuse to listen to reason
J. Raymond (23:57:19): I will be with you... in the end
Carbs (23:57:45): you know, my happiness's about to divide by zero
Carbs (23:58:00): Two-minute warning.
Carbs (23:59:00): Sixty. Seconds.
Carbs (23:59:30): 30
Carbs (23:59:40): 20
Carbs (23:59:45): 15
Carbs (23:59:50): 10
Carbs (00:00:03): that's it, and that's all!!
J. Raymond (00:00:10): grats
J. Raymond (00:00:16): did you cum?
J. Raymond (00:00:17): lol
Carbs (00:00:32): if you'll excuse me, i have to go put my ID in the mail to Groton. To get my DD 214. I'll be back in a couple of minutes.
J. Raymond (00:00:38): lol

1 This is just a link to the Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro commercial I wrote about on Sunday night.
2 The top is safe, but be careful when scrolling down.
3 Absolutely NSFW, as shown by my immediate response.

Other facts and figures from the decidedly not bitter end:
My location: Village Park, Northport, New York.
J. Raymond's location: Presumably his place in Saratoga Springs, New York.
Others present: Four youths, probably Northport High School students with nothing better to do on a Monday night than hang in the park.
Last meal as a Sailor: White Castle in Commack, about an hour and a quarter before.
Etymology of ending words: Catch phrase of SportsCenter's Scott Van Pelt, most often used for walk-off home runs.
First text: 12:05 am, to RB. He's in Fort Lauderdale with his girlfriend, so he couldn't be at my side for this.
ID card into the mailbox: 12:09 am. This is a necessary step to get my copy of the oh-so-important Form DD 214.
First song: "Love Song," Sara Bareilles.
Second song: "Pleads and Postcards," The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Arrived home: 12:29 am.

And now I'm off to bed. I'm not sure what I'm going to do tomorrow. But I've got plenty of options - hey, it's not like I'm in the military or anything...
Tags: civilian life, nauseating detail, northport, red jumpsuit apparatus, sara bareilles, white castle

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