November 3rd, 2001

christmas 2008

Can anything clear it up for me?

So earlier this week I told my parents I was thinking of leaving Cornell. They told me they weren't shocked about it, they were more concerned with my mental health. I have to say that in this case, their concern was definitely warranted. There have been some moments where I wasn't exactly sure of my own sanity. But I think I've got it back. And now that I do, it's clear to me that I was not considering all my options. In my last post here, one month ago, I said I felt like my academic activities were pointless. At the time, I dismissed as impractical one of the most easily visible options - change my academic activities. Preferably, I would want to do communication, which is in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences. As I am currently in the College of Engineering, making such a change would require an internal transfer, which can be a long and arduous process. The fact that I've been completely apathetic about my schoolwork of late probably won't help matters. But I feel I owe it to myself to try. I owe it to my parents to try. And if it isn't possible, or I don't make it through, I'll at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried. And to adapt the famous quote by Tennyson (I think), it is better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all.
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