Prior to the previously blogged events of Friday night, I was chillaxing at my place, surfing the Internet, and I decided to again read The Famous Sushi Pants Story by Tucker Max. Despite the warning with which the venerable Mr. Max concludes, I decided that a breathalyzer would be a wonderful addition to my collection of things. Not only would it help me determine whether to press my luck or pass on another beer on a normal weeknight, it could - as shown in Tucker's story - completely change the social dynamic of a gathering. Tucker mentions that he bought his from The Sharper Image; I decided to begin my search there, finding a model selling for $140. I also checked Brookstone, but after seeing the model they were selling, I decided to go with TSI. I had three basic options to obtain this gadget:
order online, pay standard shipping charges, and wait nearly two weeks for delivery
order online, pay express shipping charges, and probably receive it later this week
go to the nearest Sharper Image store and purchase it
I didn't want to wait until the end of next week, nor did I wish to pay through the nose on delivery. These factors, combined with the fact that I haven't been more than thirty miles from Portsmouth in two and a half months, made the decision an easy one - it was time for a roadtrip to Burlington, MA, about an hour down I-95. And it was a wonderful day for driving...it felt great to simply rock out by myself, while letting the Minivan o' War run all-out for longer than five minutes.
Once I reached the Burlington Mall, there wasn't really much to it - I found the store, found the breathalyzer, and just after noon today, I became the proud owner of a brand new AlcoHAWK Pro. I then commenced to search for another toy I'd like to obtain - a portable digital voice recorder. I checked the Brookstone in Burlington - no luck. After lunch, I returned to New Hampshire and tried the Fox Run Mall, but there isn't even a Brookstone there, despite the company website saying otherwise. I decided to take one more shot at the Brookstone outlet store in Kittery, and came up empty there too. Upon returning home, I checked my computer again and saw that the recorder isn't even in their stores. D'OH!
The packaging for my new breathalyzer contains probably the most brazen example of legalese I've ever seen. Look at note 3 below the table of specs, and then look at the little photo above the table. Very curious.
So do I intend to operationally test the AlcoHAWK Pro this evening? You bet your behind I do. If it goes well, I'll seek to introduce it to a wider spectrum of subjects in the near future.
